How Every Zodiac Sign Makes Excuses for Working Out

How Every Sign Gets Out of Working Out

New year, same excuses.

By The AstroTwinsPublished: Jan 12, 2016

Let's be real: Even if you made fitness resolutions, got new workout gear, and signed up for a bunch of workout classes, that "new year, new you" motivation has already started dwindling by week two. Our resident stargazers The AstroTwins, are here to find the humor in that inevitable mid-January workout slump.

Aries

I haven't found a trainer who challenges me yet.

Nose, Arm, People, Sportswear, Sports uniform, Human body, Jersey, Shoulder, Sleeveless shirt, Photograph,

Taurus

Crazy expensive blowout—waiting to work out 'til it's time to wash my hair next.

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Hair, Nose, Lip, Hairstyle, Chin, Forehead, Eyebrow, Style, Ringlet, Long hair,

Gemini

Friend has unbelievable gossip. Rushed to meet for drinks.

Black hair, Long hair, Makeover, Restaurant, Layered hair, Wine glass, Drinking, Distilled beverage,

Cancer

Heading home (sigh). My cat's separation anxiety is flaring up again.

Wood, Vertebrate, Cat, Felidae, Small to medium-sized cats, Flooring, Carnivore, Floor, Whiskers, Hardwood,

Leo

Waiting for mirrored studio to offer my favorite class.

Darkness, Abdomen, Trunk, Chest, Navel, Acting, Stomach, Scene, Animation, Barechested,

Virgo

Have you READ the statistics on gyms and germs?

Eyebrow, Photograph, Style, Sitting, Monochrome, Monochrome photography, Black-and-white, Shelf, Reading, Photography,

Libra

You seriously cannot expect me to lift that.

Face, Nose, Thigh, Chest, Beauty, Trunk, Abdomen, Muscle, Long hair, Blond,

Scorpio

Still interviewing private instructors—privately.

Finger, Fun, Hairstyle, Eyebrow, Photograph, Joint, Chest, Facial expression, Abdomen, Trunk,

Sagittarius

Wait…I thought sex counts as cardio?

Head, Human, People, Photograph, Mammal, Style, Monochrome, Monochrome photography, Interaction, Black-and-white,

Capricorn

Crashing! Work was so busy that all I ate today was a gluten-free muffin.

Cheek, Hairstyle, Eyebrow, Dessert, Eyelash, Ice cream, Dairy, Frozen dessert, Vanilla ice cream, Sorbetes,

Aquarius

Mercury retrograde f***ed up my FitBit.

Lip, Hairstyle, Chin, Forehead, Eyebrow, Collar, Jaw, Organ, Iris, Blazer,

Pisces

My acupuncturist said I need to ground myself before exerting any more energy.

Lip, Hairstyle, Photograph, Summer, Beauty, Long hair, Brown hair, Sunlight, Blond, Fawn,

The AstroTwins

Identical twin sisters Ophira and Tali Edut (a.k.a. The AstroTwins) are ELLE.com’s resident astrologers. They have written several astrology books, including Momstrology and Supercouple, and star as the astrological matchmakers for Prime Video’s Cosmic Love. The Eduts have read charts for celebrities the likes of Beyoncé, Karlie Kloss, and Emma Roberts. For their spot-on predictions, books, and online courses, check out our horoscopes coverage or visit astrostyle.com.